Fatty

No matter what, Marriage is the bomb-diggity. But with that said, the biggest downside I have seen so far is you get freaking FAT. Tubby. Lardy-lard-lard-pants. It's frustrating when you're like "Hey shorts, you are cute, I think I'm going to wear you." Then they are like "NOPE YOUR THIGHS ARE THE SIZE OF AN ELEPHANT". They were too big for you last summer when you were getting married, and that makes you want to crawl in a corner and sob while you eat a tub of Ben & Jerry's. 

It's not your fault that it's easier to go and grab some Micky-D's for dinner or you want to make cookies at 3 in the morning. It's Marriage's fault. It's not your fault it's funner to stay in bed and cuddle then go the the gym. It's Marriage's Fault. It's not your fault that your poor and Mac & cheese cost less than a dollar. It's Marriage's Fault.

Also all you people that got married and are all fit and skinny still- I hate you.

This post is mostly supposed to be a joke. But mostly not.

Here's to eating rabbit food.